BALANCING ACT

I find myself drifting between two worlds. My hands are busy with tasks that are at polar opposite ends of the spectrum. A precious new grandchild is born at the same time we are in the thick of a whole house renovation.

It has been a reminder to me about how one must be ready for whatever life brings. And it has shown me how much I need to lean on the Father for his strength and wisdom to handle those things when they come.

Gentle, calm, careful, holding, caressing, tender and loving...

 

Rough, rip, smash, tear, destroy and demolish...

Life is a balancing act. There is a time and season for all things. And perhaps, at times, we can experience those seasons simultaneously. It is during this crazy and seemingly chaotic time that I lean heavily into God's promise that he provides me with his presence and strength to face each day. His purpose in it all is to transform me to become like him. 

Reading in Ecclesiastes 3..."For everything there is a season...yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from the beginning to the end...God's purpose is that people should fear him..."

So today I embrace the tender and the rough, the sweetness and gritty...because I am able to see HIM in both.

LESSONS LEARNED

I felt it would be beneficial to sit down sometime and make a list of things we learned during our first official whole house renovation on Orange Street. It is wise and good to observe, reflect, and then live according to what we have learned. We can then apply these principles to what we are currently doing. It always strengthens my faith to reflect and recall God's faithfulness to me in the past.

 

So here is my personal testimony after being in the "School of House Renovations 101"...

1. God is the best general contractor one could ever have. He knows the end from the beginning. Trust him throughout the entire project.

2. Timing is everything. What may appear as a glitch which causes project time to be lost, will work out for the best in the end...and actually puts you ahead of schedule.

3. Creating boundaries and margins in time worked helps keep stress at bay. Stick to those boundaries as much as possible and it will prevent the renovation project from taking over your life.

4. Using the right tools and having a teachable spirit (learn from the professionals) is necessary to obtain the best results.  

5. Honor and respect all workers involved in the project. Their gifts of craftsmanship and care are gifts that God uses in his kingdom. Bless and pray for them, compensating them for their time with a generous and grateful spirit.


May you also be encouraged as you reflect on what you've learned from past experiences. God wants to take us further; in our skills and in our faith.





Romans 8:28 - "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."

EMPTY SHELVES

 

It's beginning. It has to happen in order to move on. This is the part I don't enjoy; tearing down and packing away all the things that I so carefully set in place three years ago. 

Room by room.

Closet by closet.

Shelf by shelf.

It all gets put in a box.

But starting again in a new house has some advantages and packing boxes becomes a time to ponder what's going on in life.

• It's an opportunity to see how much stuff we never use, and therefore probably don't need. 
• It's an opportunity to clean those corners and high places that typically are never touched. 
• It's an opportunity to bless others with items I no longer use. 
• It's an opportunity to recall memories from the past as I handle things like photos, books and gifts.

This time I've been packing slowly and far in advance of our move hoping to minimize the last minute stress that can occur. The dining room is filling with boxes. Each day a few more appear.

This is also a time of emptying myself. This "tearing down" is not pleasant work. There are many things in life I cannot control. Recently, I wrote in my journal...

 "Lord, today I offer all that I have again to you with open hands. Where we live and where I work is open before you. I give you complete control. Take what I have and use it as you want...We hold tightly to you. Come to us with clarity and assurance. We need your presence..."

Starting a new day with this attitude is advantageous. Emptying myself becomes a time to ponder what's going on inside.

• It's an opportunity to get rid of negative attitudes.
• It's an opportunity to allow God to point out places I've not yet given over to him.
• It's an opportunity to look for blessings amidst all the negative.
• It's an opportunity to recall how faithful God has been in the past.

Yes, this "emptying" is a slow process. But it's necessary. It is necessary if I want to move forward into a new place. And as I empty myself, may He fill me with his presence and peace.

 "Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord NEVER ends! His mercies NEVER cease! Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." Lamentations 3:21-23

ANOTHER JOURNEY

What do I do when the desire to continue renovating doesn't go away? What do I do with a mind that is continually looking for another old forgotten house that needs to be cared for?

He says I'm a house-stalker. Maybe I am.

When darkness falls, I readily admit it's fun to peek through windows of homes that have their lights on inside. I'm looking at the rooms. What color is it painted? How is the furniture arranged? Is there a fireplace? Does it have interesting architectural features?

It could be called an addiction I suppose. I've felt apologetic and guilty about it at times.

But could this passion have originated in the heart of God? Could it be that what I long to do, what fills me with satisfaction and fulfillment, is actually part of my contribution to the world?

I like this quote by Frederick Beuchner. "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."

This brings gladness to my soul: seeing forgotten broken houses become whole and new again. But there is a deeper and greater purpose in this. After all, it's not so much about the destination; it's about the JOURNEY. It's not so much about a beautiful house in the end. It's about what is learned in the process of making it beautiful.

We all have a hunger for God, whether we are aware of it or not. It is a deep hunger. In what do you find deep gladness?  What are you observing and learning in the process; on the JOURNEY?

...and now I invite you to join me on another JOURNEY. What new lessons will be learned as I begin caring for another house?

There will be more pictures; more "befores" and "afters". But currently we are still on the journey towards occupying this place. In the coming weeks, we are trusting God to work in the situation so that this house can become a place for his peace and power to be ministered into the lives of those who visit. This is our journey. And what a process it is! Our eyes and hearts are wide open.

A bit of history for those of you who are curious: It is likely the worst house in a beautiful neighborhood along a private road. It is a foreclosure. Built in 1972, it is dated with dark paneling. However, vaulted ceilings, an open staircase, stone fireplaces and a daylight basement present some very promising features. I've been waiting for it to be up for sale for about 6 months, tracking it online. With a month's time to clean it up enough for us to move into it, we are definitely on the fast track. Settlement is slated for September 26. Move-in date will be October 25. Stay tuned for details as things unfold...

TIME

Good things take TIME ...at least that's what we're often told when we find ourselves in the midst of trying circumstances, or in the midst of a project that is taking too long to complete. Patience and perseverance are character traits that are difficult for us to develop in a culture that prizes instant everything.

Since the end of July, when I last wrote, the focus of much my TIME has been on the completion of an outdoor space for this house. We spent over a year working inside and now it is TIME for some outside renovation. I drew a picture of the vision I had for this outdoor space on a piece of paper. We took measurements and counted the cost. The project was a big one. 
March 2011...

 August 2011...

 And in July 2012...After educating ourselves about laying patios, building stone walls, we started shopping for the needed materials: flagstone, gravel, stone dust, tampers, chisels, etc. The work began...

 The materials were literally dumped in the back yard. We wondered what we were getting ourselves in for; did we really know what we were doing? How long will this take?

 Digging out 400 square feet of yard was work! We persevered and encouraged each other through it. Because the contour of the land was so uneven, some places we had to dig down 16 inches while other places it was only six inches. Level lines were drawn and followed carefully.

 Finally, the day came when we could begin laying the flagstones. It was like putting a giant jigsaw puzzle together.

 The old original brick walkway sank into the ground over the years. It created a sort of water channel towards our house whenever it rained. We pulled up all the bricks and laid a better foundation, reusing the bricks to create a new path from the house to our parking area.

 This is one of my favorite spots to spend TIME reading, reflecting and enjoying meals together at the table.

And just yesterday we added some plants...
 

 TIME...yes, this good thing took time. And hard work. But the reward is wonderful. I look forward to enjoying this space in the future. But for now, we prepare for another season ... autumn and winter. TIME keeps moving. 

I want to make the most of the TIME I have been given. Seasons change, and with each season new opportunities to enjoy what we have. I want to be a person with patience and perseverance to complete what is before me; a person who encourages others in their tasks; a person who finds peace knowing that TIME is in the Father's hands.

"Lord, help me to stay strong in You knowing that TIME is in your hands. I want to be a faithful steward of all You have given me. Don't let me run ahead. Thank you for this moment. Thank you for today."

But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying "You are my God!" My future is in your hands... Psalm 31:14

CONTINUING

...yes, CONTINUING. In a few days we mark one year that we have lived in this house; one year that I have been caring for this house. I apologize to those of you who look forward to more regular updates from me. Work is CONTINUING even though my blogging may not be. Here is a peek at a few things we've been working on . . .

Those radiators that were hauled outside last month were finally taken to the salvage yard. Now our back yard doesn't look like a dumping ground anymore. Next month's project? A patio and flowerbeds!

Without window treatments, the master bathroom felt bare and sterile. Keith and I took a trip to Philadelphia's garment district last month where I finally found fabric to make curtains for the master bathroom. Thanks to instructions found on a blog, I am perfectly pleased with my new Roman shades.

And our third floor is finally taking shape. We purchased some cabinets and counter-tops. A mini kitchen is evolving.

We're waiting on the plumber to install the sink, one of the windows will be replaced, and some trim work needs to happen yet. It is sort of like a little apartment up there (bedroom, bathroom, living area and mini kitchen). If you need a place to stay or a place to retreat, let us know. 

 I also look forward to using this space for crafting and artwork.

...and the fireplace. Just before the gas insert was installed, we got the idea to re-tile. While the original tile was still in good shape, we just weren't in love with the colors and design.

 A quick trip to the home store and a few evenings of labor gave us the look we were after.

 So all these things make the house our home. It's a work in progress...as time goes on...more ideas and more projects...CONTINUING.


In the midst of all this, life CONTINUES as well. Nothing stands still or stays the same. New jobs, new routines and new seasons keep us from getting bored. But we CONTINUE to keep our eyes fixed on the One that never changes. Our God is big enough and good enough for whatever tomorrow holds. He CONTINUES to love me and call me to trust him for the future. 


Where are you looking?
Are your eyes on Him? 
He's the One Who Never Changes; the Faithful One. Malachi 3:6

A song by Brian Doerksen comes to mind (do you know it?):
           
            Faithful One, so unchanging
            Ageless One, you're my rock of peace
            Lord of all I depend on you
            I call out to you, again and again

           You are my rock in times of trouble
           You lift me up when I fall down
           All through the storm your love is the anchor
           My hope is in you alone. 

PEACE

PEACE: (noun)...Freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility

During my morning walk today, I was pondering this word. I believe PEACE is something every human being is longing for. We search for it in everything we do, and even through things we acquire. We say things like, "If I could just get that new dress, that will make me feel much better about myself." Or, "If I could work for that company and earn more money, then I know we'd be happier." And how much of our time is spent wishing our general circumstances were different? We want PEACE. We want quietness in our souls. We want our minds to be free from disturbances.

During the recent month, I have been experiencing several disturbances. I want to do something about them...now! I think that if I can remove them, then my inner PEACE will return. I want the nagging feeling of frustration to go away.

It began last month with the "death" that I talked about in this blog. The smell eventually dissipated, however there continue to be signs of critters on our property. Lately we've confronted oppossums at night. HATE those things! They leave droppings and I dread the walks from our car, through the back yard, into our house at night. Mosquitoes have made their return as well. We're doing our best to formulate a plan of attack so that we can enjoy our outdoor spaces. Ants seem to like the one corner of my kitchen. We have to exterminate them every morning! In addition, the full time job I've held during the last four months has allowed me little time to tend to the basic housekeeping tasks I actually enjoy. And there are a few more frustrations that I could name but I'll end there...

Then, one day, a good friend posted a short statement on Facebook. "Frustration is an expression of selfishness." hmmmmm. I went quiet inside...my journey towards humility continues.

Lately, I've been praying a specific prayer: "Father God, You created me. You know me. You know my future. So I trust You." I've prayed this many times out loud. It's been good to hear myself say those words. When my circumstances are not delivering PEACE, I must remember to run to Him. It was interesting to me when I later discovered that this same Facebook friend posted another short statement, "Godly PEACE and calm is trust in action."

"Lord Jesus, thank you for showing me where I still need to trust you. I want more of You and less of me. Fill me with your PEACE so that in all things others see You instead of me. You've created me and know me. You even know my future, so I trust You. Amen"

Yet, I still like to do everything I can with my physical surroundings to promote PEACE for the soul. My surroundings definitely affect how I feel. Perhaps I can illustrate this with a few things we are currently working on around the house...

(so many projects, so little time)

    DOES NOT BRING PEACE...         

.......MUCH BETTER!

The built in wardrobes located in 2 of the bedrooms originally held sinks. After using plywood for several months, we finally had some marble cut. A shiny marble top vanity is satisfying.

           NOT PRETTY....                 

the old front taken off revealed 100 year old dirt...

 ...and now mid phase; FEELS BETTER ALREADY.

                                 A new gas fireplace insert is on order!

And then there were the radiators; 3 of them just sitting on the 3rd floor. We finally scheduled a day to do the dreaded task of hauling them down 2 flights of steps and out the door.

Hard work, but so glad they are out of the house. Now we can finish renovating the room on the 3rd floor. In a few weeks we'll decide how to get them out of the yard.

Oh yeah...the back yard! Green space and dirt is good therapy for me. I can't wait to have an urban garden. We are currently in the planning phase of designing a larger patio space and flowerbeds. But right now it's just a space to walk through on the way to our parked cars, dodging mosquitoes while watching your step on uneven bricks. FRUSTRATING!

 We've torn down an old lattice fence so that we can plant a green border...MUCH BETTER.

...but the second floor porch is being transformed into a place of PEACE. (still needs paint and other misc decor) Here we can relax. We've already enjoyed a lazy Sunday afternoon followed by some good family time by candlelight into the night. Yes, I need spaces like this to help bring PEACE.